Day 7 - My hero

7) Whom do you look up to?

I've struggled with this question in the past. In my experience, it's a common question asked of clients by therapists. Growing up, my hero was my oldest brother. He was strong, kind, did okay in school, and always seemed so sure of himself, so confident. From my mission, I look up to Steven, an investigator. I don't know why, but his story has stuck with me ever since we met. His son had committed suicide, and he was struggling to deal with it. Sure, he used alcohol and tobacco to cope with the pain, but I also saw him being vulnerable to nearly-complete strangers. He wasn't afraid to show his emotions.

I look up to a lot of the men and women (both cis- and trans-) that I've met along my journey in therapy groups. Some struggle with addiction, loss of job, failure of marriage or other such trials. And yet, they continue on. The trans- men and women in my current group are all a lot younger than I am, all still college-age. They are so confident and hopeful for the future. Even with my supposed wisdom of "old" age, I look up to them.

I look up to running greats, like Scott Jurek, Emil Zátopek, Bill Rodgers, Caballo Blanco (Micah True), Kathrine Switzer, Bobby Gibb, Timothy Olson, Ann Trason.  Timothy Olson overcame multiple addictions by running. Kathrine Switzer and Bobby Gibb challenged the belief that women couldn't run more than a couple miles by running the Boston and New York marathons. Emil's passions were his wife, running and his country. It's said that he trained by carrying his wife and wearing his boots from the army. He won the marathon at the 1952 Olympics in Helsinki, his first marathon ever after deciding at the last minute to run it. He had already won the gold in the 5 km and 10 km events and broke the Olympic record in all three. He gave one of his medals to a friend that had tried multiple times to get Olympic Gold but lucked out every time.

Here are some others:
First Lieutenant John J. Dunbar, Dances With Wolves
Captain Nathan Algren, The Last Samurai
John Nash, A Beautiful Mind
Elizabeth Bennett, Pride and Prejudice
Jane Austen
Ariel from The Little Mermaid

So, what is it that all these men and women have in common? I think a common theme is sorrow and overcoming great trials.

I came across this video from TED that got me thinking more about this question. He talks about the differences that media portrays of men and women. Male protagonists are usually portrayed as violent and aggressive to save the day while the women often do little. Contrast this with Dorothy from Wizard of Oz. She was a leader and overcame obstacles by befriending many. Male heroes accomplish the feat by themselves while women often help those alongside them to grow and overcome together. Think of Rapunzel in Tangled. Indiana Jones used friends but did it by himself. What message are we sending our children!