Friday, December 22, 2017

Closing Out 2017

The last few months have been hard for my running. In August I was on track to surpass the total miles ran of any previous year. Instead, 2017 is my lowest mileage years. The feelings pervaded all aspects of my life. I avoided social media, even removing apps from my phone. I turned off notifications for all running-related groups. I apologize for not being there for so many good friends. I just couldn't and needed a break. But I had a pretty good year of racing. I improved my time at Vermont 100 by over an hour and placed third. I ran Boston for the fourth year in a row. It was my SLOWEST marathon ever, but I really enjoyed it, more so even than my marathon PR when I first ran from Hopkinton to Bolyston street. And I even made it out west for a race. Miwok 100k near San Francisco in the Marin Headlands was amazing! The views were gorgeous. I didn't finish as fast as I wanted (perhaps I wasn't fully recovered from Boston two weeks prior) but managed to place tenth and have the time of my life. This 100k is definitely my favorite, far better than the difficult, foot-trashing and toe-crushing Ring and Reverse Ring. While we were on our trip out west in September and October, I let go of my goals and tried to enjoy running again. I had missed out on running a few favorite races (The Ring, Women's Half Marathon, TWOT, PB&J 50k, Quest for the Crest 50k, and a couple others) and was scared to race. In Utah, Arizona, and New Mexico, I found some beautiful trails and had fun running up mountains. Also in Arizona, I ran a race that was a memorial to a girl who had died of cancer. This was the tenth and final running of the Run for Rachel that was initially a fundraiser to help with medical bills and get her needed treatment. Winning it outright and beating the young high school kids was definitely satisfying and encouraging.  Running ten miles to the start line was also a huge bragging point. In California, I took pleasure in shattering a few Strava segment records claiming Queen of the Hill whenever and wherever I could. As we finally returned home, the local routes held little appeal. So I focused on gardening and getting our yard and garden ready for the fast-approaching winter. This helped me stay in shape to a small degree, but more importantly, it gave me some needed therapy, fresh-air, and time playing in the dirt.  Pacing a dear friend at her first attempt at the 100-mile distance gave me the opportunity to un-isolate myself and reconnect with dear friends. So now, I feel I am ready. I've signed up for a few races next year that will keep me busy. Boston and Vermont are a given. I need a Hardrock qualifier, so I chose Cruel Jewel - I like me a good challenge. ;) The Yeti 100 sounds awesome, and the sub-24 hour buckle looks amazing! Maybe I'll grab a few "Fat Ass" runs along the way and run those races I've been wanting to for the past few years.




Why Living the Gospel Brings Prosperity and Happiness

The past few months, I've pondered this subject a lot. Often it's during episodes of the Rich Roll podcast. He interviews many interesting, thought-provoking, and fascinating people. And his wife Julie casts a unique perspective on things. Sometimes I wonder if she was Mormon in a previous life because so much of her beliefs line up with mine, except for the reincarnation part anyway.

Anyway, when we think of living the Gospel, and the benefits it brings into our lives, we usually default to the Word of Wisdom. But I believe there are many more blessings that God showers upon us from following his commandments, living our lives according to the tenets of the Gospel, and hearkening to the words of our leaders. When I was frequently attending group therapy, our therapist would have us start each session by checking in. This amounted to sharing how we were feeling physically, emotionally, spiritually, and sexually. These aspects together define the overall, total health of an individual. One could exercise every day with great intensity but by not exercising other aspects of health would eventually become sick, unhappy, depressed. Unbalanced.

Physical Health
Let's start with the Word of Wisdom, but really get into it and not just the alcohol, coffee, and drugs parts. Must discussions skip over the counsel to not eat corn and oats. Or the gun-toting hunters conveniently skip over the part about eating meat sparingly and in winter time.

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

"What Made [Gracie] Run"

The past few months I've been struggling and haven't felt much like running. In August, I figured out I needed to average 70 miles per week to reach my goal of 3,000 for the year. And I was gung ho and doing it. But then something happened. I don't know what. I just didn't have that spark anymore, I didn't feel like running. Getting up early was impossible - I could never get enough sleep. Sometimes I'd prepare my clothes the night before but still didn't run.

So I gave up on my goal. That alone was a huge relief. But running still pricked at my heart. I turned off all notifications on Facebook that were running related. I removed all running groups from showing up in my news feed. This all helped and continues to help.

I read the book, "What Made Maddy Run" by Kate Fagan.  It chronicles the life and death of an amazing, super-talented track star and soccer athlete.  Maddy played soccer since she was small and was on track to play in college on a scholarship.  Then the last couple years of high school, she tried out track too and excelled.  She committed to playing soccer for a prestigious college but changed her mind and ran for Penn State.  She was excited to start college.
But the excitement didn't last.  She barely made it through the first semester.  She was depressed and unhappy.  She reached out for help with the school's counselors but didn't get what she was needing.  Not long after the second semester, and after much debate with herself and with her family about transferring to another school, she gave up on life and ran off a parking garage.  It was planned and surprised her family and friends.

Sunday, December 10, 2017

To Life

Life is interesting. The paths our lives take are interesting. I like pondering how I got to where I am. The many decisions that were made, either by myself or by others that brought me to this very point. So many times at church I have felt the Spirit confirming to me that I am where I am supposed to be. Despite being ignored by our Bishop and made to feel like I'm invisible and a follower of Satan for affirming that I am transgender, this is where I'm supposed to be. This is where I and my family are supposed to be; the hand of God brought us here. Here to this small town in rural America surrounded by gun-totin', evangelical Trump supporters.  The media would, and does, tell us that these people are ignorant, mean, bad people. But as I get to know more and more of our neighbours and fellow members in our church congregation, and they get to know me, I am astounded at their love and acceptance. Their faith, righteousness, charity, love, and desire to follow God inspires me to be a better person. And this is not merely about finding acceptance for being myself, for being transgender, but about the opportunities for each member of our family. We have all thrived here. Things have come together as if by magic to improve our health and happiness. We are closer to the Lord.