The past few months I've been struggling and haven't felt much like running. In August, I figured out I needed to average 70 miles per week to reach my goal of 3,000 for the year. And I was gung ho and doing it. But then something happened. I don't know what. I just didn't have that spark anymore, I didn't feel like running. Getting up early was impossible - I could never get enough sleep. Sometimes I'd prepare my clothes the night before but still didn't run.
So I gave up on my goal. That alone was a huge relief. But running still pricked at my heart. I turned off all notifications on Facebook that were running related. I removed all running groups from showing up in my news feed. This all helped and continues to help.
I read the book, "What Made Maddy Run" by Kate Fagan. It chronicles the life and death of an amazing, super-talented track star and soccer athlete. Maddy played soccer since she was small and was on track to play in college on a scholarship. Then the last couple years of high school, she tried out track too and excelled. She committed to playing soccer for a prestigious college but changed her mind and ran for Penn State. She was excited to start college.
But the excitement didn't last. She barely made it through the first semester. She was depressed and unhappy. She reached out for help with the school's counselors but didn't get what she was needing. Not long after the second semester, and after much debate with herself and with her family about transferring to another school, she gave up on life and ran off a parking garage. It was planned and surprised her family and friends.
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