Wednesday, December 2, 2015

"Are You a Survivor"


The race director asked me, "Are you a survivor?"  I didn't know how to respond but was humbled and grossly effected.

It was the day after my last day working as a civilian with the Army.  Saturday morning, I went on my run and decided to visit the post where I (previously) worked and run the Breast Cancer Awareness 5k that the hospital was hosting.  I had seen a flyer the day before and thought why not.  So I ran the 4-5 miles from my house to the starting line.  Right as I got there, the gun went off.  So much for registering.  The race was free, so I just jumped in and followed everyone else.  As I picked up the pace, other runners quickly fell behind me until eventually, at about two miles, I was in the lead.  I was feeling great, running at about 6:15/mile.  Not my fastest, but pretty good.  I finished with a time of 18:30, a good minute ahead of the next runner.  The race director came up to me and asked my name.   I noticed she was writing my name down as the lead female winner.  I didn't object and had a huge smile on the inside.

For the next hour or so, I stuck around and ran around the parking lot waiting for the rest of the runners to trickle in so that they could start the awards.  I grabbed some of the free food (the berry applesauce packets were delicious), drank some water, and got another six miles added to my workout.  They took a podium picture of the top three, with me in the middle.  Not long after that, the race director grabbed me and asked if I was a survivor.  Meaning, a survivor of breast cancer.  I felt the emotions surge.  At first I was elated she saw me strictly as a woman and had no idea that I am transgender.  Then I felt the gravity of the situation: other women battling a deadly disease and surviving.  I felt honored but also like I was mocking them.

No comments:

Post a Comment